SCHOOL ANTHEM LYRICS
by MC PAUL BARMAN
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It's true most of the time in class I was tempted to "Fool Around Man"
That's what it was, yeah... You'd be bored and you'd figure
"Well why not deprive someone else of their education"
I may be kidding school's just babysitting
I knew girls in AP classes knitting, so tedious
Homework is tell major lies or plagiarize encyclopedias, so boring
Fresh-faced teachers want to tickle 'em
but a test-based curriculum excludes exploring
I'll let a mystery gas out of my blistery ass
Just to disrupt the misery of history class
And to entertain your tender brain
When your pain is the same as a fender bender with a train
Analyze the engines if you gotta go to the rhododendrons
Cut class then serve detentions
Say toodle-oo to the trimmed poodles who
Will grow up to be the adults you now hate, I know what's futile too
Like throwing a spear at Choate, I'm not here to gloat
I want to be used as your yearbook quote
Abolish class rank, pour sugar in its gas tank
Weighted grades really yank my ass crank
And stop up my leak hole
English and autoshop should be equal
Anyway an A is a weak goal
So stultifying, It's hard to hold off dying
I'm spying on a lobbyist, It's obvious
Double teachers' salaries and hire smarter
Discard the farters who only inspire fire starters
What is the meaning of C.L.A.S.S.?
Is it a Conspiracy Levelled At Sleepy Students trying to pass?
<Scratching> "Oh my, What a disgrace..."
Make like a whirlybird and graduate early, word
Or pull all the stops out
Make the proprietors of a mom and pop shop's eyes pop out
And drop out
When I yawn it's hard to hold in drool, drawn dreams of a molten pool
Of magma rock raining Ragnarok
On the whole damn school
Scenes of the old and fool-ish and possibly cruel
Administrators being told the Golden Rule
While rolled in stool
Repainting the facade and bannister
I'm going to switch your contact lens vial
for a Drosophilia Melanogaster cannister:
I found college awkward another teacher, same old chalkboard
I felt I was shifting bawkward when I expected to shoot forward
Could I possibly have been more bored?
Realistically, a stressful sideways
Still skipping readings, still waiting for Fridays
School was so damn boring
It left me colder than the o-ring
Which would not expand and destroyed the USS Challenger in 1986
An overhaul is long overdue
I'm 0 for 2, If so are you
Catch the fever from Wallace Shawn
To destroy school 'til all is goooooooone
<Scratching> "He was the first one to get a Hawaiin nose-humming"
"Analyze the results"
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