by DENIS LEARY
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I'm sick and tired of my generation getting blamed for the state of the planet. I'm sick of my generation getting called the TV generation. "Well all you guys do is watch TV." What did you expect!? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get shot live on TV one Sunday morning, we were afraid to change the fucking channel for the next thirty years. "This show sucks." "Yeah, but somebody might get shot during the commercial. Now hang on!"
That's what's wrong with this country. We always shoot the wrong guys. We shoot JFK, we shoot RFK, and it comes to Teddy, we go, "Ahh, leave him alone. He'll fuck it up himself, no problem. You know?" Biggest target in the whole God damn Kennedy family. He weighs about seven thousand pounds. You could shoot a bullet in Los Angeles and hit him in the ass in Boston five minutes later. He'd be standing on the lawn at the Kennedy compound going, "Ah Ah Ah Ah There's a bullet in my ass. Ah Ah ah ah"
Ted Kennedy. Good senator, but a bad date. You know what I'm saying, folks? One of those guys who gets home at four o'clock in the morning and goes, "What did I forget? Oh! The fucking girl! What's the matter with me? Jesus, where are my pants!? Holy shit!"
Because I'll tell you folks. We got a real problem with guns in this country. We have people snapping almost twice, three, four, five times a year. Right? People just snap. They can't take it anymore. They just snap, they go into McDonalds and kill fifteen people. I mean what the fuck is going on down at the post office? Every six months some guy gets fired, comes back and kills all his co-workers. If I worked at the post office as a supervisor, I wouldn't lay anybody off for the next twenty-five fucking years. I'd just walk around going, "Hanrahan, what're you doing?" "Nothing." "Well, keep it up, you're doing a great job! Jesus. I'll tell ya."
And I am
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