TOLL BOOTH WILLY LYRICS
by ADAM SANDLER
Popularity: 57 users have visited this page this week.
:::car pulls up:::
Toll Booth Willy: Welcome ta Wista! Dawla twenty five please.
Driver1: Hey! How ya doin Toll Booth Willy?
Toll Booth Willy: Goood, thanks for askin pup.
Driver1: That's great, considerin you're a fuckin idiot. (drives away)
Toll Booth Willy: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'LL COME RIGHT OUTTA THE BOOTH AND FUCKING WHACK YA! YOU FUCKIN PRICK!
Driver2: Hey, hey Willy how's it goin?
Toll Booth Willy: Hey can't complain pup. How's by you?
Driver2: Oh great great. How much?
Toll Booth Willy: The state charge is a dawla twenty five pup.
Driver2: That's fine. Now should I give you the money or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass Hee Heeeee (throws quarters, drives off)
Toll Booth Willy: WHY YOU FUCKIN HAAAD ON! I'LL FUCKING COTTONFISH YOU'RE FUCKING HEAD WITH A LOUISVILLE FUCKIN SLUGGAH! WHADDYA THINKA THAT ASS FUCK?!
Driver3: Hi, Willy.
Toll Booth Willy: Oh, nice to see ya mam not a bad day, ah?
Driver3: Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear you're the best with directions.
Toll Booth Willy: Well, I know my way around New England I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?
Driver3: Well, I was just wondering which exactly is the best way to drive up your ass. You know if you'd tell me I'd appreciate it, you fucking prick. (cruises off)
Toll Booth Willy: YOU FUCKIN BITCH! FUCK YOU! YOU FORGOT TO PAY THE FUCKIN TOLL YOU DIRTY WHORE! I'LL FUCKING DROP YOU WID A BOOT TO DA FUCKING SKULL YOU CUM GUZZLING QUEEEN!
Driver4: Hey Willy.
Toll Booth Willy: Hey how are ya?
Driver4: Here's a dollar twenty five and go fuck yourself.
Toll Booth Willy: Dah! YOU FUCKIN PRICK! I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A FUCKIN BOTTLE CAP YOU FUCKIN SON OF A FUCK! EAT SHIT! EAT MY SHIT!
Driver5: Hello Willy, good to see you.
Toll Booth Willy: Ahhh Bishop Nelson, nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other day.
Driver5: Well, I do my best.
Toll Booth Willy: Dawla twenty five, Bishop.
Driver5: Dollar twenty five Willy...isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job you piece of dog shit?
Toll Booth Willy: OOOOHHHH HAVE ANOTHER ONE YOU FUCKIN LUSH! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE BARTENDER CUT YOU OFF LAST NIGHT YOU FUCKING DOUCHE BAG!
Toll Booth Willy: Well, hey!
Driver6: Yeah do you want the money or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass?
Toll Booth Willy: Welllll, I already heard that one YOU FUCKIN UNORIGINAL BASTARD! GO SUCK A COCK YOU PIECE OF FUCKIN REPEATIN SHIT!
Toll Booth Willy: Ohhh, Hi, how are ya?
Driver7: Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?
Toll Booth Willy: For you sweethart, it's a dawla twenty five.
Driver7: Here you go, thank you.
Toll Booth Willy: Hey, hey honey. Would you like a receipt with that?
Driver7: Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you soo much.
Toll Booth Willy: And here ya are.
Driver7: Ahh, do you think you could sign it?
Toll Booth Willy: Uhh, sign it?
Driver7: Yeah, sign "Toll Booth Willy was here."
Toll Booth Willy: Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?
Driver7: Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive. You understand."
(Drives off...Crumples up paper)
Toll Booth Willy: FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKIN UPPITY BITCH! I'LL FUCKIN FUCK YOU AND ALL YOUR FISH-EATIN FRIENDS IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHERS! YOU'RE GONNA DIE BITCH! I'M COMIN OUTTA THE BOOTH! (Opens the door and runs out of the booth)
(Car screeches and hits him)
Toll Booth Willy: OOHHHH MY FUCKIN LEG!
Driver8: Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Willie!
Driver9: Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a dried up stinky dick licker.
Toll Booth Willie: Why you fuckin' pricks. I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying! When this fuckin' leg heals, I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes!
[Everyone cussing eachother out]
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