THE BUFFOON & THE VALEDICTORIAN LYRICS
by ADAM SANDLER
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Performed by adam sandler and jennifer lien
"and now the buffoonís date at the drive-in with the schoolís valedictorian."
Valedictorian: "i really appreciate youíre asking me out. most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."
Buffoon: "this movie sucks shit!"
Valedictorian: "well, ebel gave it thumbs up, but ciscel thought it was too preachy. anyway, I enjoyed the directorís last film immensly."
Buffoon: "cathleen turner has big fuckiní tits!"
Valedictorian: "yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a role in that. she looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesnít she? "
Buffoon: "i put a firecracker in a bullfrogís mouth and blew his fuckiní head off."
Valedictorian: "well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process."
Buffoon: "that girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head."
Valedictorian: "well, I guess sheís strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."
[buffoon eating popcorn]
Buffoon: "this popcornís fuckiní terrible. it tastes like someone jizzed all over it."
[buffoon continues to eat popcorn]
Valedictorian: "well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a
Buffoon: "i looked at my asshole in the mirror today. it blew my fuckiní mind!"
Valedictorian: "itís ironic that parts of oneís body seems odd and unusual because you donít see them on a day to day basis.
Buffoon: "my fatherís shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckiní day!"
Valedictorian: "itís puzzling why one personís fecal odor can be more overpowering than anotherís. I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that personís internal metabolis
Buffoon: "iím gonna go get head from that fuckiní girl."
[gets out of the car]
Valedictorian: "well, Iím sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion."
[buffoon walking away]
"i do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue."
Buffoon: "i like to piss in that guyís fuckiní gas tank!"
Valedictorian: "bye bye! have fun."
[buffoon continues to walk away]
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